stressed

somedays i wish i had a parent that would do everything for me and i could enjoy my life. but im not that lucky. i have all this paperwork to fill out for college, and all before deadlines. and i missed one of the payment deadlines for the dorms i wanted. of course cause i didn't know what was going on with school, so i didn't turn anything in. so i will be placed in a random dorm....fabulous. and don't forget now i have to find my medical records, and make copies of that...and have the doctor sign some stuff. which means i have to go to the doctors office. and then all the paperwork has to be mailed to separate offices which costs more for stamps. but guess what? THEY DON'T CARE. because if i don't follow THEIR rules and THEIR guidelines, they can easily just drop me. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh and all i want to do is hang out with my friends and enjoy spring break. but deadlines for half of this is in early may. oh and don't forget that they are only open during certain hours of the day. so i get to plan my day around their times. and because i don't know how long they will take talking to me, i have to make sure i have nothing else around that time.

sigh

in another area of thought...

i realized this weekend that this summer will be the hardest summer of my life. i have to leave everyone i love. and i may have to do it early too. depending on if i get into the summer program.

i was telling this to joey and when i did he made this face of "why are you leaving me so early" face, and it made me want to cry. i know there will come a time when we will have to think if our relationship is going to work being far away from each other and we both know that we would be looking at other people. but it doesn't change the fact that its going to be sad to say goodbye. i wasn't planning on getting attached..

but now i am.

and then as i was up in SLO for the weekend i wanted my bestest friend in the whole world with me because i wanted to share stuff with her as it was happening, but she wasn't there. and i realized thats how its going to be all next year. i mean i know i will make new friends...but not as amazing as she is. and when i leave her i will probably spend the next few hours crying.

may the next three months take forever.