thanksgiving

tonight at church there was a song playing and i happened to look over at this little girl and her daddy. he sat her down next to him while he stood up and raised his hands to praise the Lord. she stood up and looked at her daddy and raised her hands. she would look up at him here and there to make sure she looked just like him. it reminded me that we should be looking to our Father and make sure we are looking just like Him. "be holy as I am holy"

Every year i write what I am thankful for. this year is no different.

Things I am thankful for in the past year

-new friends: i gained new friendships within the past year. i have gotten to know their likes and dislikes. and gotten to learn new things about them and their families.

-old friends: i have relied on my old friends the ones that i have depended on throughout so many trials and joys. they have been my support through the roughest times of my life

-family: my family though messed up and split all over the state, have been there and joined together to be my other support when i need encouragement.

-home: even though there is a chance of losing the house, i am thankful that we have had the ability to stay in this house and it keep me dry and warm and safe.

-love: love is one of the most powerful things that can happen in a lifetime. it can be grown like a tree yet never be broken if strong enough through the tests and trials. love conquers all.

-laughing: when all you feel like doing is crying because everything around you is falling apart there are those friends that can make you laugh so hard. and make you feel better about yourself.

be thankful for what we have been given. even though it can be taken away in a blink of an eye. be thankful for the time every person is in your life. even if it a short time, because once they are gone, they may never return.

happy thanksgiving!

"love and marriage

go together like horse and carriage"

only in a song.

through this i have lost some faith in marriage, in staying together "till death due us part" i don't mean to say it can't happen but I have kinda lost some faith in it.

does true love really exist or is it just in fairy tales?

some things I do know are:

from the moment you say "i do" to your last breath you are meant to stay with one person. you aren't meant to "go searching for love in all the wrong places" you are supposed to work through things, it is never love at first sight. you fall in love over time with a person. you can't ever truly love a person until you have seen them at every angle, in their bad, in their good, in their happy, in their sad.

you can't just give up when things get tough between you two. you work through them and refine the precious relationship you have like a someone refining gold. you press forward always wanting something better never settling for the mediocre with the relationship. you should continue to want to learn more about each other, and fall more and more in love with the person as you get to know them.

and that is just before marriage.

you should never fully commit your life to another unless you are absolutely positively sure that you don't want any other human on the planet.

but how do we know true love really exists?

not what i planned

this year is not what i had planned. i planned a great senior year. full of fun with my friends and doing schoolwork. i was looking forward to a new experience being on my own for school. the summer made me hopeful but at times doubtful i made the wrong choice. but as the school year started i found my peace with choosing this. then everything changed. i was offered new things if i went back. i was uncertain again. but i realized i liked being on my own. my own schedule and having new friends. and im thankful for this because if i had gone back, i wouldn't be able to have money for everything now. and i i wouldn't be able to focus on my school work with everything at home falling apart. i regret that i am not connected with my friends at linfield anymore. they were great girls and i miss them. but we have to move on with our lives sometime. i am experiencing new things. and that out weighs all the sadness of seeing the pictures from what was supposed to be the greatest year of our lives. i will find my own fun. and make new memories. God is going to bless me sometime down the road.

i just wish sometimes that blessing would come in the form of money, for next year.