how can i even begin to place the thoughts into words. i have so many thoughts that need to be written. i want to start by writing letters to everyone and expressing my feelings about things to them. but as i begin to write those letters, thoughts that come up that belong to other people, and i have to pause and start writing them the letter. its a jumble of thoughts.
i wish i could tell you how sorry i am. i wish i could begin to express my sadness towards the situation we went through. im so sorry and heartbroken that we even had to go through that. i am sorry that it was my fault. that i was the one to be dumb about things.
i want to be able to tell you that im here for you. i want to explain to you my openness to being your best friend. even though we don't talk, we don't see each other and we have began to have our own lives. but i will always always always be there for you.
i wish i could tell you how hurt i was after you said those things. i wish i could yell and scream about the anger those words you told me and your group shared with me. because those words were not meant to be shared. you should have never even said those words to me. but of course i will not yell, i will not scream...i will hold my tongue like it is proper to do.
I wish i could hug you and tell you that it will be okay. i want to be able to tell you that it may be sucky now, but it will get better. it will become the best years of your life. but i want to hug you now and tell you that things will be okay. we fought, and lets move on from that. we don't talk anymore, but lets start fresh and start all over.
I wish i could pay for everything for you. i wish i could be a millionaire and just pay for those dumb things that come up. i want to be able to help you like you have helped me so much. i want to be able to buy you pretty things, and tell you that i can buy you a house or a pony.
i wish i was there. i wish i could experience all those things you tell me about. i want to be part of your life. i want to become more part of your life...but i can't because of the distance. i want to be part of your life more. be there with you.
oh the things i wish i could write to people. i want to be able to express my feelings and my thoughts. but they don't make sense, they are jumbled.
oh the things i wish i could tell you....all.
