I AM is in control

I thought having my world rocked a few times this year was enough.....but apparently there is always more.

i love the saying "God never gives you more then you can handle...i just wish He didn't trust me so much" or something along those lines.

Yesterday I called the admin office for SLO, my dream number one school, and asked about my application. I had put on there when I applied that I was PLANNING on taking a college course this semester at the JC. But low and behold, it was too crowded and I couldn't get into the class. I shrugged that off and moved forward thinking God has better plans for me with teaching. BUT of course because SLO is a very hard school to get into, they decided to be picky. and inform me that because i didn't take the college course this semester, there is a chance that my admissions will be taken back. I don't need the class to graduate, i am done with my credits...it was a just-because-i-can class. So now i had to send them my transcripts and they will review them and let me know (whenever) if i am still accepted for the fall. AND of course I haven't heard from San Jose still, but I am going to give them till the end of the week and then monday I am going to call and figure out what happened. I have already denied 2 of the 3 other colleges i have been accepted into because my mind was made up that I was going to SLO.

I feel like God gave me a note yesterday saying:

Dear Cassie,

because i love you and trust you and you love me, im going to take away the future you planned...make it my plans, and remind you that you aren't in control. I AM. Please trust me.

Love,

God.

I don't like the idea of His will, because it isn't MY future plans I made, all by MYSELF. All the doors had been wide open, so I jumped...only to have to climb back up to the door and re-evaluate everything.

UGH

chances of me being still accepted 50%

chances of me being accepted next year or in two years 10%

yup im going to be pessimistic about this.

but then again as I rethink about this...i was doing all the planning...and not allowing God to control my thoughts. maybe thats why he decided to pull the rug from under me causing me to fall on my butt.

once again.