I went to the beach and played tag with the waves. i ran down and chased the waves and tagged them, then they came right back at me and chased me back up the shore. i felt like i was five again. i walked along the waters edge with one the most amazing people i have met. and looked in to the ocean and wanted to stay there forever. never sleeping, never going home, never talking to anyone else besides him. there has only been one other experience when i felt this way. when i felt actual true happiness. where i laughed because i felt like it. and i smiled for no reason other then i was smiling at the little kids playing at the waters edge. it was a carefree day. and i say that anyone who can give me that carefreeness should stay around in my life. it felt so good to be 5 once again even if it was just for a few minutes. to feel the world lifted from my shoulders. to have no worry in the world. to forget about all the things i need to do before leaving. to forget that my family is broken into pieces. to forget i lost one of my best friends this summer. i felt like i was free and i think that after having felt that, i am going to be ok. that i am going to make it through all this crap, with my best friends along side me supporting me, and one of the most amazing boys on the other side holding my hand walking, not running, with me along this path of life.
things i did learn though, that sometimes its better to leave mystery then to be blunt. i have been trying to be up front and honest this time around, but sometimes its better to leave things in the ashes to be blown away from me forever.
so go out and run with the waves. play tag with the waves and run away from all the cares of reality for one afternoon. i dare you
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