tying up loose ends

college is just a mere two months away from me. almost within touch. i am working really hard to make sure the paper work and all the money is done. so that after july 15th i can enjoy my summer. and not think about anything but enjoying the days i have with my best friends.

but at the same time, im saying goodbye to those i know that i won't see that much over the next few months. i have called or texted people that i normally don't talk to, or that some how we don't talk anymore. i have been talking to people and trying to find closure with them to be able to go to college and have the clearest mind possible....and not think about how i should have apologized or been a better friend or something.

it seems like its a bit out of guilt, and maybe it is. but wouldn't it be better to do it out of guilt and make it right then to not do it at all and have that hanging over my head the next four years?

i think so.

this week im going to be seeing one of my old friends. some how throughout the last year thanks to a break up, she chose their side and not mine. so we lost touch. we haven't talked much since january, and i am ok with that. i know that she will survive and she is a strong young lady. i don't like the fact that her and her family have decided to ignore me because of the actions that took place 6 months ago. but what can i do? so this week i asked her to get together and see her once more.

so i can hug her once more before going off to college and we may never talk again.

so i can tell her that she was a good friend to me and that i hope her senior year is the best year yet.

so i can tell her that i am ok with the fact we may never talk or see each other again because she chose to pick their side.

i have been doing this a lot recently. i talked to someone i haven't talked to in almost 2 years because he wanted to make sure all his apologies were done before moving away. i talked to another friend and said goodbye to them.

this summer is about tying up loose ends, saying goodbye, and being able to start fresh....completely new in the fall.