stressed beyond belief

i can't even begin to state how stressed out i am. i actually ate real food allllll day today. i know that may seem weird, but i have been eating like diet food the last few weeks. like slim fast and special k. i really like the food. and i have even dropped a whole dress size. but today i just was so stressed that i just didn't care. i ate real fatty food. and a lot of it.

im so worried about college. i know God is going to take me where HE wants me. but it would be nice to have a few signs of what to do in this situation. If i pay the fee for san jose, but end up going to SLO, then i lose that money. if i don't pay it, but don't get into SLO, then im stuck going to a JC. which isn't bad. I just was trying to get away from here and just get the next 4 years started. i want to enjoy being on campus and being away at college and have the dorm room. but i may not even get to do that for awhile. and of course this is MY choice, but i sure don't know what to do. OH and to add to things, i have to do this all within a week. i have two weeks to tell SJ one way or the other. way to stress out a kid. i hate colleges.

i was sitting here playing on itunes, and my phone buzzes. the text was an apology from someone without a name on it. i assumed it was from one person, but then when i asked who it was, i was totally shocked that it was someone else. i could have sworn that he had fallen off the planet, since no one had heard from him in a year or so. he apologized for being such a jerk back when we broke up. it made me laugh because i have totally been where he is at. apologizing for being a jerk. and it takes a lot of courage to text someone that you haven't spoken to in awhile and apologize for something you did a long time ago. i replied saying that i accept his apology. because everyone who apologizes sincerely deserves to be forgiven. now i have forgiven him months and months ago, but it adds closure. now nothing is going to come from this, because we sooo are not right for each other. but maybe this will help him with something and he will gain something.

im glad to know someone else out there has courage to own up to their actions. even if its two years later.