do you ever want a strong connection with someone? you want a more intimate relationship....but something is stopping you? thats how im feeling. i want to be closer to God. I want to be able to have that intimate relationship where nothing is stopping me from calling upon Him. I want to be able to have that closeness I have with my best friend, where I want to call her up when something happens no matter how big or small it is.
but yet something is holding me back. something is keeping me from reaching that venerability with God. the thought of being that open with someone else scares the crap out of me. specially someone that i FEEL like has hurt me many times before. i don't want to be hurt again. and being that open and vulnerable with someone there feels like there is a chance of being hurt. i don't want to allow myself to be loved by someone and to love someone only to have my already damaged heart torn to pieces again.
i have been praying that God will show me what's keeping me from being closer with Him. and i have learned over the last two weeks that i am keeping myself. there is nothing standing in between me and getting closer to Him, but myself.
i am my worst enemy.
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