do you ever...

feel like you aren't good enough?

this weekend i felt like i wasn't good enough to even be considered a friend of the family of one of the people i love.

i realized last night that im a bad Christian. I don't ever follow what the Bible says, I turn around and leave church only to say a few words that are not meant to be said from a Christian. on the weekends i can think of several times that if someone were to ask me what i did, i would have to lie to make sure that people think im still a good Christian. im not worthy enough to be called a Christian, and I feel like if I keep going to church, maybe one day it will stick in my head and i won't be such a hypocrite anymore. but at the same time i feel like i shouldn't be allowed to walk into a church.

hmm. the blood of Jesus has washed us clean.

i don't regret doing anything, nor do i regret continuing to do it, but somedays it gets to me and i think i don't want to become like my sister so far from the one person who loved me no matter what, that i can't remember His name.