Christmas time

I feel like a bad person for not writing in my blog last thursday. I had a routine going, and then of course I got busy and I didn't have time. oh well. not a big deal.

i decided to not work for the week. because i didn't feel comfortable with the person i was staying with. though i should have sucked it up and stayed. and worked. and gotten that money. i might regret it later....but i don't know.

i feel like i don't want to grow up anymore. so many things i have to remember. and i feel like i don't have time. so many deadlines so many papers i have to fill out. and no one really to lean on for help.

im definitely looking forward to Christmas this year. I am looking forward to sending time with people i love. and i am actually looking forward to going back. to being back in a routine. though i wish i could take my bed with me. hahaha.

we got a christmas tree. its fake so it will keep longer and can be reused in later years.

i feel like a wreck because i don't have a permanent address for anything. and i feel like i want to just change around everything. i want to be able to live off campus next year and make it a permanent home for me. but of course even if i was to live off campus, it wouldn't be permanent for me. i would possibly change houses. and i feel like i can't use other peoples addresses because its not where i am at most. so i was summoned for court, and i had to reply back that i wasn't there....but they asked for my new address, but its like i don't have that as my permanent address either. so its hard and confusing. and then taxes are needing to be figured out also. sigh. and how i want to work around the money issue. i wish someone would be here and help me out with all these choices, or have someone else that has similar situation as i do, so i can work like they did....but of course not. i have to be different.

im so tired of living my life differently then other people.

im ready for it to be constant. for some stability.