change or routine

do i really want things to change? or am i wanting things to stay the same?

i wouldn't mind things staying the same ever just for a few years. or a few months....but things aren't that way. things always change. constantly moving, constantly rearranging. new opportunities come around, and old friends disappear only to be replaced by new ones. i wonder what those people are doing that used to mean so much to me. i wonder what would have happened if last year stayed the same. i wonder what would have happened if i never met him. i wonder what would have happened if i went to a different school.

there are days i wish things were normal. where i knew my life didn't stick out from the rest of the people i met. we all have our unique stories...im just tired of people hearing mine and saying "wow" or "omg im sorry" when in reality, im not that sorry it happened. it made me the motivated, independent person i am today.

there are days i want to give up. but then i look on my wall and remember that i have people who are here to support me, to be there when i need to lean on someone. and be the encouragement i need. even a 5 minute phone call helps. or a quick talk to an old friend.

so week 7 is done. geography test done, and two more math tests to go. and then thursday morning, im out of here. im going to run away from everything even if its for a few short days. i need to run away from here. from reality.

i need to live in a non realistic place. where it seems like dreams come true.